Melissa Gilbert and husband, Bruce Boxleitner split

Okay, I totally expect that some of you are saying, "Who?" or "Who the hell cares?"  Ahahaha, my friends, this is my first lesson in pop culture history.  In case you don't know who Melissa Gilbert is (Bruce Boxleitner really isn't that important here), let me bring you up to speed.  Melissa Gilbert was on a show called "Little House on the Prairie", which in the late 70s was the non-equivalent of Modern Family since it wasn't modern for the 70s (it took place in the post-Civil War period out West) and featured no gay characters (that were out, hint: Albert).  Watch the following clip to see Gilbert as Laura Ingles, also known as "Half Pint" to her Pa, Michael Landon.

Gotta love the mud fight...this scene would have a direct influence on TV cat-fights in years to come...

Melissa Gilbert was the break-out star of the show and for many years was a Hollywood darling.  Since then she has travelled the traditional route for actresses who were once a big deal in the 70s: actress in a series of Lifetime Movies (see also Farrah Fawcett, Jaclyn Smith, Cheryl Ladd, Jane Seymour, Kate Jackson, Stephanie Powers, and Valerie Bertinelli to name a few).  Sidenote, it's interesting that all four, major Charlie's Angels actresses went on to impressive careers in made-for-tv movies.  Could this be a curse?  I think so.  Minka Kelly, Kelly Brook, and Rachael Taylor, you've been warned (yep, Charlie's Angels is being remade for TV; keep your eyes out for the pilot, possibly this summer).

Ok, back to my point regarding Melissa Gilbert...this is an interesting story to me because of two things.  1) This is another example of what was a seemingly rock-solid marriage that has lasted many years (Boxleitner and Gilbert met on LHOTP but got married in 1995) crumbling at our pop-obsessed feet.  Apparently, you can't make your marriage last in Hollywood unless you are a Scientologist...but that's because the idea of being picked up by the Lord Voltron's spaceship earlier than anyone else because you've maintained your sacred, "drinking the funky Koolaid" vows, is pretty appealing.
2) The Main Reason: look at her face in that picture!  OMG, hellooooooo plastic surgery!  When I first saw this picture, I thought it was a hybrid of Melissa Rivers and Joan Rivers, but no!  It wasn't a Rivers family member at all!  A few years ago, I worked a press tour for a really shitty movie called "Against the Ropes" starring Meg Ryan.  My job was to be Ms. Ryan's gopher, her job was to be extremely difficult and bear a striking resemblance to Jack Nicholson as "The Joker" in Batman.  She had recently had a face lift and a large amount of Restalin injected in her lips.  In honor of the above photo, I now induct Melissa Gilbert into my very own "Your Plastic Surgery Mistakes Make You Look Like a Comic Book Villain" Hall of Fame!!

P.S. Am I the only person who realized upon looking at Bruce Boxleitner: "That's probably what Bruce Jenner would look like today if he had also stayed out from unda da knife?"  Just sayin'.  Speaking of Bruce Jenner, if you could pick a comic book villain that he resembles most, who would it be?