The news of Prince William and Kate Middleton's impending nuptials has been all over the TV, Internet, and magazines. Straight women everywhere are giddy over the opportunity to witness a "royal wedding" (everytime I say that phrase, I now say it in a British accent, a´la Helena Bonham Carter).
Personally, anytime I see pictures of Williams and Kate, I only think about one thing: damn he's getting bald! After doing a Google search on "Prince William balding," I've found that Kate Middleton has obviously influenced Prince William's attention to his ever-increasingly shiny dome. The first picture I've posted is the most recent, and as you look at the other photos, which are arranged from newest to oldest, Prince William has obviously started "Rogaine-ing" a lead in race against balding time.
What's also interesting to note is how Prince William styles his hair to take focus away from his obvious propensity towards hair-loss. Unlike, his father, who sports a bitchin' comb-over, William goes with what I like to call the "tussled" look, which involves a manic application of hair product to give one's coif that "I just rolled out of bed after having sex" kind of look. We can now see that this is the next step in the evolutionary trend of balding hair styles, which I have chronicled below. Like fashion itself, balding hair styles move in cycles.
The Shaved Head aka Beating Heredity to the Punch: by far my favorite look for balding men, to the point where I often get lady-wood when I see the men pictured below (except Gandhi, but only because I do not see him as a sexual being, and because that makes me feel skeezy).
There are celebrities who have completely effed up this simple non-hair style:
Part The Follicular Sea: when balding men say, "Screw it! If I'm bald, I'm gonna be bald!". The men below have pulled this off so well that they end up being considered sexy, funny, charming, or you don't even notice that they're missing hair from 70% on the central region of their heads.
The Comb-Over: I've never understood this tactic towards combating baldness. When you commit to the comb-over just know, water and wind are your two biggest enemies. There's nothing more embarrassing than seeing a man's comb-over lifted like a tin-roof in a gusty wind, or seeing a comb-over turn into a wet, flaccid clump of hair sliding down the side of a man's hair after jumping in the pool.
The Tussle aka Peach Fuzz aka The Peninsula: As I mentioned in reference to Prince William, this balding hair-style is characterized by a messy look that serves as a illusion for one's baldness. Kind of like writing "I hate you" on a note to a classmate, but then drawing 3-4 lines over it as a means of making it illegible. Putting a few scratches over your hateful note doesn't mean your friend can't tell what it says. And just because you apply some caulking putty to your peach fuzz, it doesn't mean we can't tell you've got some open real estate up there. The Peninsula can be found solo or in combination with the Tussle/Peach Fuzz look and in characterized by a peninsula-like formation of hair at the center of the scalp and often resembles the shapes of the following states: Florida, Alaska, Michigan, or Maine. But plenty of men look great with this style:
Honorable Mentions: Crazy hair, lesbian comb-overs, do-rags, cowboy hats, hair pieces, and the no-hair hawk.
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